Boundaries

The radical, rebellious act of self-care in a world that doesn't take "no" for an answer

So, I had a TOTEM Animal dream the other night.

In the dream, I was presented with a little baby crocodile in an open, glass terrarium.

He seemed hungry, and all I had with me was a small bag of pretzels, so I started offering him little bites. He grabbed at the pretzels, inhaling them and seeming to calm down with a bit of food. Just before the dream had wrapped, I started to bring the little crocodile home, where I planned to feed him some raw chicken from the fridge. He seemed placated for the time being with his pretzel snacks, and he was letting me pet his incredible, scaly head, just between his beautiful, almost all-too-large crocodile eyes.

I cannot describe how downright adorable this dream crocodile was. How intelligent and engaged he seemed.

I woke up from this dream with a palpable feeling of unmitigated optimism and happiness. Pure bliss. Childlike joy. And it was all because of a little pet crocodile in a dream. Or was it?

About five minutes into being awake, I had to remind myself: “Rachel, you’re a shaman. You know that this is probably a TOTEM Animal dream.” I then looked into what Ted Andrews (author of Animal Speak) has to say on the whole “crocodile medicine” thing and discovered:

“Crocodile speaks of primal instincts. These instincts include survival, reproduction, and the need to pass its strength on to its young. Though we are all eternal beings, the survival instinct of the crocodile tells us that life is precious and we should seek to conserve it at all costs and in all forms. What is most important about the survival instinct is the survival of one’s spirit. The spirit precedes the body. If the spirit suffers, the body will also suffer. The crocodile teaches us, through millions of years of existence, that the spirit is what gives life and strength.

Crocodile thrives in the deep dark mysterious realm of swampy water. It is said that life began in the oceans, or the waters. The crocodile spends most of its time in the water, and thus near its primal source of universal origins. When it wades in the waters of life, it remembers ancient energies of growth from which its life began millions of years ago. That is why it has barely changed at all, because it remembers the original lessons that it was born to know, and so, has had no need for change and adaptation. As it bathes in these life giving waters, it tunes in to its original purpose and energy.

To be of the Crocodile Totem Animal is to be fierce, a force to be reckoned with, one who has connected to its inner powers for millions of years ~ just imagine that kind of confidence!”

So, what did this new TOTEM Animal mean for me? I reflected on this question and the events of the recent weeks and, within a few hours, I emerged with a very clear answer.

The crocodile connection

Upon reflection, this crocodile “medicine” I had been gifted seemed to be about boundaries. And we could all use a refresher— and some encouragement— regarding boundaries right now.

The day after I had that shamanic TOTEM Animal dream, I felt a natural, visceral shift in my business behaviors and interpersonal communications. I no longer hemmed and hawed about asserting appropriate boundaries, and I released the seemingly perpetual worry that someone would cause me or my business any unnecessary harm as a result.

Armed with crocodile medicine, some part of my energy body now just understood that the behavior of others was explicitly not within my control. While this was something I had understood in concept, my new TOTEM Animal infused me with a new, deep, and palpable knowing.

I believe that crocodile TOTEM Animal came to remind me that that just because the world changes— and expectations and behavioral norms change along with it— it doesn’t mean that I have to change in kind. I don’t. And neither do you.

Crocodiles are effectively ancient dinosaurs, largely unchanged for more than 80 million years, thriving and dominating in their ecosystems because they live by an ancient wisdom: if it isn’t broken, don’t fix it.

My new TOTEM Animal was also a personal reminder that, because of my abusive and dysfunctional childhood, I gained the superpower of understanding and maintaining appropriate boundaries a long time ago. I wasn’t confused about right and wrong back then, and I don’t need to be confused about it now.

And, here’s the best part: you don’t need to be confused about it, either.

The new “normal”

Boundaries have been a big topic around here at TOTEM in the last few months. There was a short window prior to receiving “crocodile medicine” in which I even considered shuttering TOTEM and getting a “normal job”, feeling exhausted and demoralized by unexpected and unsolicited verbal abuse, electronic harassment, and even a couple of death threats.

I spent a few exhausting weeks trying to internalize these experiences, take accountability for them, reconfigure my business model or personal communication style to avoid or mitigate them moving forward, or even sign up for intensive ketamine therapy to recover from them and start over, at least neurologically.

In the weeks since— and with the gift of my new crocodile TOTEM Animal— I’ve expanded my gaze and my perspective. I talked with many of you lovely people, and I realized that this trend wasn’t just affecting me. In fact, it was affecting just about everyone I know.

In my little circle of friends and collaborators, the shift has been noteworthy: herbalists are bringing tasers into their brick-and-mortar shops for personal protection. Psychic practitioners and energy healers are permanently shuttering their practices, refusing to work directly with clients. Small business owners are desperately trying to sell their company, their brand or their product stock just to get “to safety” energetically and psychologically.

Why? Well, literal strangers are now freely acting like straight-up barbarians: throwing full-on tantrums and threatening to weaponize social media if they are confronted with a simple, appropriate boundary.

It’s been hell on the nervous system.

This realization that this has been a larger trend beyond my own little insular hamlet has helped me revisit my spiritual and business boundaries, helping me recalibrate and shed the reflex to “fawn”- i.e. engage in the trauma response that leverages people-pleasing behavior to appease or supplicate an aggressor, avoid conflict, and ensure safety.

I mean, crocodiles just don’t fawn.

And, as a newly inducted keeper of crocodile “medicine”, I felt called to relieve you of this burden of fawning, too, sharing some high-level tips and tricks that I’ve dusted off the shelf or developed in recent days.

After all: the boundaries we keep in everyday life tell the world of spirit what we will or will not tolerate on the energetic plane.

So, if nothing else, take this post as a sign from spirit that you have permission to flip your “bitch switch” and take back some crucial energetic real estate. Trust me: you’ll feel better and, from a spiritual perspective, you’ll be exponentially less vulnerable to malevolent parasites and hitchhikers.

Did the internet break our brains?

So, what caused this shift? Why is everyone acting so crazy?

I think the internet has a lot to do with it. I mean, in addition to a possible uptick in negative entity activity. Oh! And mass layoffs and inflation and socioeconomic turbulence across markets and industries.

Yah, it’s a lot.

But back to the internet. We interact so much with abstract, online systems, AI chat bots, and 24/7 human-less “services” that many of our interpersonal skills and human-scale expectations have atrophied. After all: conversation and emotional intelligence are perishable skills, which is why we focus so much on socializing young children.

During the roughly three years of the Covid-19 pandemic, the human species relied even more on “gig economy” services like Grubhub, Postmates, UberEats, and Amazon, becoming habituated to the expectation of magically pressing a button and receiving a magic bag or box instantaneously, all courtesy of a nameless, faceless entity.

During that that window, we also spent way too much time on social media, “doom-scrolling” and getting into arguments with nameless, faceless archetypes (most of which are probably bots). These social media interactions are a hyper-exaggerated short-text form of communication focused on “burning” the other party or “dunking” on them, generally all within a digital echo chamber.

No nuance, no context, and no basic humanity.

And guess what, guys? All of this time in isolation, replacing human-scaled interactions with anonymous scream-fests while waiting for our fast food to magically appear at our doors kind of, maybe, sort of broke our brains. We didn’t get any of the nonverbal (or verbal) feedback that we would typically get from seeing a human face in front of us that “teaches” us appropriate boundaries, as well as the fundamentals of compassion and empathy that come with an energetic connection.

And a lot of us forgot the physical time/space limitations of being a human— or the inherent obligation to show other humans a bit of grace as they balance demands on their limited time. After all, Hhuman beings are not multinational corporations, and as individuals we just cannot offer the same scale, resourcing or speed as Amazon.

It’s also my belief that all of this time online has rewired the neural pathways of our brains, literally changing our perception of reality and bending us, however subtly (or not so subtly), in the direction of that perpetual need for immediate gratification, usually in the form of a hit of dopamine.

What’s more: it seems that the thought pathogens permeating our online interactions have made their way out into the real world, often leaving the individual feeling pitted against and victimized by an invisible enemy— and an existential threat. I’ve seen an interaction go from mildly uncomfortable to “scene from the Exorcist” in a mere ten seconds, with people screaming and crying and getting on hands and knees to express their anguish…all at just being told “no” quite politely.

So, that’s the long and short of it. Humanity isn’t doing great, and I think these might be some of the key driving factors in the radical shifts I’ve experienced when interacting with the general public.

Or, at the very least, the ones we can account for in measurable, secular reality…I personally never discount the possibility of some dark, invisible hand influencing us from the shadows of spirit.

But I digress…

Bring back boundaries

So, how do we handle this shift? How should we operate in a world where “no” doesn’t seem to work anymore? How do we channel our inner crocodile TOTEM Animal to reframe our dynamics such that we can navigate the demands on our time and energy safely and humanely? How can we stay safe and healthy— energetically, psychologically and physically?

In other words: how do we make boundaries great again?

(Don’t worry: I’m not making any red hats anytime soon!)

One social media account I follow (I know, I know- the irony after yelling about social media) just posted this yesterday, and I thought it was powerful:

“People are so used to others being indirect and phony that clear, direct communication sounds aggressive.”

In keeping with the spirit of this very astute observation, I’ve outlined some initial suggestions and solutions around next-gen boundaries below. These can be considered, modified and/or leveraged whether you’re a working psychic, small business owner, in-house professional working as a part of a larger team or company, and even a stay-at-home mom.

And please take what works for you and leave the rest. I’m not a technical expert or shrink or doctor or lawyer or influencer or anything like that;)

I’m just the child of two expert-level boundary-pushers, a recovering corporate cog that slipped the knot of capitalist bondage, and happen to be a shaman that interacts with about 100+ people, mostly relative strangers, every week.

So, you know, I’ve got some serious miles on me when it comes to boundary-keeping!

1. Define reasonable electronic communication standards

How many emails from one person in one week is too much? How do their emails or messages leave you feeling? Are you energized by collaboration, feeling an even exchange of energy? Or do you come away feeling stressed and drained and, perhaps, taken advantage of?

Spend a moment thinking about this in quantifiable terms, assessing how this impacts your workload, schedule, and energy levels. Are a few individuals regularly more demanding of your time and insights— perhaps disproportionately— via electronic communications? Do these people have any common, shared attributes? Write them down, and use this exercise to start framing out two crucial metrics for yourself:

• Email “budget”: Establish a definition of what “reasonable” email and message volume looks like for you in a given timeframe, and hold yourself and your clients and collaborators to this standard. Pay attention to when and where you “spend” this budget, and take note of any pronounced trends. In the last month or so, I realized that one individual had messaged me more than a hundred times in a short window, effectively generating the comparable workload of several dozen clients— without any of the profit margin or good vibes! In fact, it was very stressful, and continued despite repeated requests for relief. Had I not seen it in “black and white”— and counted the actual number of messages— I would have never believed it. Sometimes, we just need to do the math to see the full picture. I now have an email “budget” that I use to monitor my participation in this dynamic, and I haven’t felt this energetically good for years!

• Communication “vampire” persona: Much like building a buyer persona in a corporate Go-to-Market exercise, build out a soft profile of what your communication “vampire” looks like. What are their shared attributes? Behaviors? When do they message you? Is it in the middle of the night? Do they consolidate thoughts or do they scattershot send a dozen emails in a row? Do they allow you time to respond? If you stop responding on one platform, do they switch to another? How much time does this archetype take in your day relative to other clients or customers or projects? Build a simple plan to leverage when handling these individuals moving forward— a kind of “Go/ No-Go” criteria for communications— that can drive consistency in your approach, as well as streamline day-to-day business operations.

If necessary, give yourself permission to block some of these communication vampires should they eat up too much of your bandwidth— and energy— moving forward. If they don’t practice patience with regard to your responses, respect your work schedule, or adhere to your preferred communication channels, they’re not respecting you. What’s more: they’re costing you crucial energy, time and attention that needs to go to mission critical aspects of your business (and your life).

Another easy trick? Do a thought exercise in which you reframe the dynamic. For instance: what would you do if the person barraging you was a stranger and a man? If he was calling your phone? Or knocking on the door of your house? Sure, it may not be exactly the same thing, but we tend to give people a “pass” on behaviors that would earn other individuals a restraining order.

And remember: the proof is in the pudding. You’ll be amazed at how immediately the relief floods into your energy body when you’re not bleeding out from feeding a very modern manifestation of the classic energy vampire archetype. After all: you don’t need to be in physical proximity to feel the drain, and this energetic wear and tear can make your aura vulnerable to yet more— and more serious— spiritual parasites.

Key takeaway: It’s a crucial part of your basic energetic hygiene program to cut off energy vampires’ favorite food supply: your energy.

Energy vampires come in all shapes and sizes and personas and packages, and in our digital age they now have even more access to your energy body and your image courtesy of Zoom, social media, and email. What’s more: it’s often those that are super duper “spiritual” or “enlightened” or espousing the virtues of self-care and boundaries that are…drumroll please…the worst offenders! Sometimes, you need to see the numbers and get objective to spot the trouble makers. Remember: energy vampires are often nice people on paper, so stay vigilant and tune into what your body is communicating.

Worried about making them angry or being punished with a purposefully malicious review or nasty, slanderous social media mention when you cut off their energetic food supply? Stop fawning. It’s energetically draining and tells the world of spirit that you’re more than willing to accommodate bullshit. Besides: you can’t ultimately really control other peoples’ behavior, and being held hostage isn’t any way to go through life!

2. Give yourself the gift of structure

Many people see structure and freedom as being diametrically opposed to one another, but they are in fact inextricably connected. In my experience with TOTEM— both as a shaman and as a business owner— the more formal the structure I establish and reinforce, the freer (and happier) everybody feels.

These structures start with adulting in the construction of your small business (if that applies): have you created an LLC? Secured a trademark for your brand? Do you have insurance? Not only do these foundational elements have a literal value and function on paper—i.e. making you less “fuck-with-able”— but they also energetically assert your boundaries in the spiritual realm, arming you with the added energetic safety of structure.

What’s more: do you handle business communications on email or text or DM? On what days? At what cadence? Let people know what your preferences are and stay consistent yourself. I personally hate to get work stuff texted to my personal cell phone or sent to me on social media, as I don’t have a choice in seeing the text or hearing the “ping” on my days away from work. It might seem like a small thing to the sender, but for me it’s at scale…and I sometimes need the “lambs to stop screaming”.

What’s more: I’m not very organized on text or DM and may not remember to follow-up or get organized on something important. I mean, I use text for memes and fart jokes, like God intended. In general, people are more than willing to work with your system if they understand that it benefits them and your shared efforts, too, so don’t be afraid to communicate honestly!

At TOTEM, I’ve also recently made the decision to reinforce our cancellation policy. If you’re a small business owner or practitioner, too, I’m going to encourage you to consider doing the same. I ran the numbers on this and realized that, as a small business that wants to charge an ethical price for my time, I just will not survive financially if I refund everyone that no shows/ no calls for a scheduled session.

After several recent experiences, I’ve started to overcome my dread of holding the line with my cancellation policy, and have actually come out of the experiment feeling way more positive about my business and my client sessions more broadly. I think I had started to develop a kind of negative Pavlovian link associated with the potential let down of a no call/ no show with the start of every client session, and I can’t imagine this vibe was benefiting the wonderful people that do show up.

Key takeaway: Give your offering, business or job a defined container. This container will make boundaries seamless to enforce, taking out the real-time guess work or interpersonal negotiation that can drain our energy bodies or make us feel like the “bad guy”. When you need to enforce a boundary, you can just reference the container, the structure, the agreement, the service or product description, or the policy in lieu of making it personal or weird or stressful.

And structure your time away from work, treating it with the same respect and rigor that you give your work commitments. Days off really aren’t a “nice to have”- they’re a NEED to have, so define them, block them off in your calendar, and make them as consistent as possible to help your clients and collaborators remember when you’re available and when you’re away from your desk.

Psst! Texts and DMs about work on your day off count as work, so make sure you’re handling your channels of communication accordingly.

3. Say “no” to the Rumpelstiltskin Effect

Paying money in a fair exchange for a good or service of value is how our whole economy (and society) works. In spiritual practitioner parlance, we refer to this as an “equal exchange of energy”, and given that our society’s chosen currency is money, that’s generally a key part of the equation.

Back in the day, shamans in Russia got paid with horse meat and vodka, so yes: times have definitely changed, but the basic premise hasn’t.

(Also: please don't pay me in horse meat).

This equal exchange paradigm has recently become an intersectional car crash between the world of energy and a society obsessed with “customer service”. Or, in other words, the pressing conundrum of what happens when entitlement converges with our instinct to fawn.

Everyone I’ve spoken with lately— from other practitioners to small business owners to intrapreunerial professionals— feel incredible pressure to keep everyone happy in a volatile and highly competitive economic landscape.

In other words: if you don’t give the proverbial Rumpelstiltskin your first born child, like in ancient German fairy tale, you could lose your business, your hard-won reputation in the marketplace, or even your job in a time of mass layoffs and corporate cuts.

And this isn’t just an irrational, self-created fear. It’s absolutely rooted in our new reality, and often explicitly articulated. In the last month, I’ve had a new client say, “Well, it looks like we have fifteen minutes left in our session, so I guess you’re mine to do with whatever I want.”

Nope. I’m. Not. A. Hooker.

I responded firmly but professionally, and informed them that the scope of our session was clearly outlined on my website, and that we would be sticking to the parameters of this service for the duration of our time together (see how those structures and containers referenced above help in the moment?).

I also had another strange, recent experience with someone who purchased our TOTEM Tarot Deck, repeatedly asking me on social media DM to help them interpret their personal, daily card pulls. Now, I’m unbelievably grateful to anyone that purchased our self-published labor of love, and I’m downright honored to be a part of their spiritual practice…but I just can’t provide lifetime 24/7 shamanic technical support with every purchase.

I make my living by providing TOTEM Tarot Readings (among other services), and I’m already super short on time and capacity for the clients I do have. Asking me to provide this service for free— because you supported me with a purchase— puts me in a really uncomfortable situation.

And these dynamics are not limited to me or TOTEM.

Another local small business owner shared an experience in which a customer walked into their healing space and demanded an energy healing session, immediately, without an appointment. This practitioner informed them that they didn’t accept walk-ins and didn’t have availability, encouraging the individual to go online or step over to the store computer to schedule something for another date/ time. Whew boy…it did not go over well.

Not. One. Bit.

This person threw a full-on tantrum, screaming and crying and rolling around on the ground, shouting, “I’ve been coming here for years! I buy things here all the time! I’m willing to pay! I’ll pay you right now! I have money! You’re supposed to be healers! Heal me!!!!”. When this person gathered themself enough to stand, they screamed and shouted threats about the nasty Yelp and Google reviews they were going to write, literally threatening to “ruin [their] business” in plain view of their other customers.

Key takeaway: Sadly, this is becoming the new normal, and we need to push back against what I’m calling the Rumpelstiltskin Effect. At the end of the day, we’re all just human beings doing our best and working our assess off in good faith efforts.

As customers and clients, let’s remember that we’re paying for a product or service that has a very specific scope in an “even exchange of energy”. Yes, it’s nice if the business owner or provider is grateful and polite to us, and even better if we get a little extra love, attention or even a free gift, but they don’t owe us their “first born”, energetically or otherwise.

Key takeaway: If you feel that a price isn’t appropriate for a product or service, don’t purchase it. Do not enter a dynamic in which all of your hopes and dreams and financial bandwidth depend explicitly on the outcome, particularly if it’s in the space of psychic or energetic work. It’s literally a recipe for failure, and will create a really unhealthy dynamic with your provider.

As business owners or practitioners or professionals, let’s remember that the overwhelming majority of our customers are wonderful people deserving of time, energy and attention, and we can’t serve them properly if we’re always accommodating the “squeaky wheel” in a never-ending sunken cost fallacy dynamic.

Anyone that ever had a troubled sibling that got all of their parents’ attention is all too familiar with this dynamic, in which the “good kid” gets neglected while the “bad apple” gets the majority of the bandwidth and resources. It’s unhealthy for all stakeholders, and often proves a thankless effort regardless.

4. A place for everything and everything in its place

Feng Shui is powerful spiritual medicine, and even though my grandmother wasn’t a Feng Shui practitioner, she sure did understand the point of the exercise, often saying:

“A place for everything and everything in its place.”

One of the best ways to enforce energetic and pragmatic boundaries is to create physical boundaries and systems of organization. The first one of these is establishing thresholds in your home or office, taking care to formalize and honor the doors and windows and points of entry more broadly. Put down welcome mats, adorn vestibule consoles with protective amulets like buddhas or crosses or foo dogs, and perhaps even consider placing a bit of holy water, blessed salt, palo santo, sage or fresh cut flowers in these entryways. These “anchor items” will help establish an energetic threshold, reinforcing the boundary lines of your home, office (or both).

Feng Shui is also basically an anti-clutter religion, so it’s also crucial to put your work product away! Keep papers and computers off of your dining table, organize your email inbox and, if you have an e-commerce business like mine, invest in proper storage (with doors that close) to house your supplies, products and existing stock. If you have your work all of over your home, it will naturally draw your eye and drain your energy. These systems and structures will also make your days off and/or digital detoxes easier to maintain, as you won’t see your work pile and suddenly remember a to do…and talk yourself into getting it done.

Key takeaway: Our physical space is a huge component of boundaries. Our doors and windows are literal boundaries that also energetically reinforce our limitations and parameters with spirit. The more intention and ritual we can bring to our thresholds, the safer our energy body— and business— are.

It’s also very important to store work product such that it’s out of sight— and out of mind— while not actively engaged in work. If you want to take this a metaphysical step further, you can invest in faraday bags in which to store your electronics; these bags neutralize electro-magnetic impacts on our physical and energetic bodies. The crystal shungite can also be used to detox from electronics, absorbing the wifi, microwaves and perhaps even bad juju of your computer and phone…instead of it hitting your system.

5. Embrace shamanic tools

I know, I know. I need to open up a salt company. But seriously: some of the most powerful shamanic tools we have at our disposal are pretty simple— and very old:

• Take a salt bath: Salt and water really do the trick, so treat yourself to a hot, evening bath with any salt of your choosing. Salt and water remove other peoples’ energy from our energy field, cutting cords and neutralizing any energetic reaction that had been stimulated during your workday. Worth noting: negative entities hate salt and water, too. Taking a salt bath on a New Moon and with intentional cord-cutting meditations can be the ultimate spiritual disinfectant.

• Burn sage and open your windows: I know- it’s another classic, but it’s a classic for a reason. Light up some sage, open your windows and move any stagnant or negative energy out of your house. Even if a coworker, client or customer ruined your vibe remotely on Zoom or in email, you can still move the yuck out of your space with some sage, some open windows, and the intent to clear it away.

• Clear your crystals: Crystals— especially clear quartz crystals— can store energies and experiences, so it’s crucial to maintain crystal hygiene with monthly moonlit (or sunlit) baths in water. Also, if you’re dealing with a particularly negative or nasty individual, you can always leverage pyrite (aka fool’s gold). Pyrite cloaks your energy and disconnects the cords that bind you to others with bad intent or general hostility. When asserting a boundary or dealing with a particularly persistent boundary-breaker, keep your pyrite close by.

• Bring in fresh cut flowers: Fresh cut flowers, particularly white flowers with fragrant perfume, are incredibly high vibration and clearing. I like tuberose, rose, jasmin, gardenia, lily, stock, and peony, as their beautiful smells will permeate your home or office and shift out any stagnating or negative energy. Sometimes, I’ll also incorporate eucalyptus or sage greens, both of which are very clearing. Gifting yourself fresh cut flowers also communicates to spirit that you care for yourself, the first and most important foundational element of self-care.

• Limit access to your image: As someone that is part Native American, I was taught that "with each picture taken of you, they take a piece of your soul”. As a child, I thought this was a silly superstition…now, I think it’s totally accurate. Block people that abuse you or breach your boundaries, removing or at least mitigating their access to your image. Take a digital detox every week. Visualize cutting cords with your various followers and contacts and listeners and friends and loved ones— this won’t remove them from your life, but it will ensure they’re not in your energy field on your days off!

TOTEM Flower Essences

At TOTEM, we also offer a few extra handmade tools you can use to help take the edge off our new boundary-deficient landscape. Just today, I bottled our Self Defense TOTEM Flower Essence, made of Red Yarrow. After three long years of waiting for yarrow to flower, we finally have the precious elixir to help plug up any holes or vulnerabilities in our energy bodies!

Red yarrow’s Latin name is achillea millefolium and yes, that means it’s named after mythical Greek demigod Achilles. Achilles had a unique vulnerability (his heel) that turned out to be his single weak point… and cause of his ultimate demise. So, it follows that red yarrow flower essence plugs up the vulnerabilities in our energy bodies, preventing a similarly horrific mishap should there be an energetic arrow flying around.

Check out this brand new TOTEM Flower Essence on our Etsy Shop HERE.

And, as always, our TOTEM Holy Water Flower Essence and Spray are great go-to’s when the energy is funky— and not funky in a good way. I’ve been burning through our Holy Water spray spritzing my bed before laying down for sleep, ensuring that any remnants of fuckery that didn’t get clipped in a salt bath or after a solid smudging are annihilated before bed.

Solid, unencumbered sleep free of energetic bondage is a crucial element of spiritual self-care, and can be a major needle mover in preventing harm from any interloping negative entities. So, I use Holy Water spray liberally when shaking off a long day of pushing back in the boundary war.

“No” is a complete sentence

If nothing else, please just remember this: “no” is a complete sentence.

We should all take pains to be humane and polite and engage in basic civility, but beyond that we don’t really owe all that much more. Besides: we’re just human, and we can only do so much in a given day, week or year. Whether we like it or not, we are limited by time/ space, and we do not have an infinite amount of time, money, energy, attention or love. So, we need to use discernment as we allocate these precious resources so that we can generate the highest net good for the individuals, groups and projects that align with our soul’s purpose.

What’s more: I really do think there has been a marked increase in energetic attacks and the presence of negative entities in the last few months. Some of the death threats hurled my way quite literally came out of nowhere, and they had a little something extra on them…if you catch my drift.

And, while I hate fixating on the dark side or engaging in fear-mongering, I would feel super irresponsible if I didn’t flag this and remind everyone that boundaries in “real life” really are the most foundational element of energetic protection. If you’re a human doormat at work or in a relationship, you’re going to be a doormat to spirit, too.

And, if you want to go full woo with this, you can always ask for spirit to reveal a “boundary totem animal” of your own, like my little baby crocodile. I have a friend that works with owl totem for protection and assistance in “seeing in the darkness”. In shamanism, we all have our very own totemic guard dog, so see if a short Shamanic Journeying Meditation or dream can introduce you to your new friend.

I look forward to my next visit with my baby crocodile. And who knows— maybe when I see him next, he won’t be so small anymore;)

-Rachel