On the Dalai Lama

Abuses of power. Cults. Human trafficking and exploitation. NXIVM. The pay-to-play of spiritual "business".

This is going to be a short one.

Regardless of the complicated, circuitous “explanations” being offered regarding video of the Dalai Lama asking a young boy to “suck [his] tongue” in front of cameras and a cheering crowd, it’s really a pretty straightforward situation.

It’s abuse.

And, believe it or not, I’m not shocked. I’ve been talking sh*t about the Dalai Lama for years after becoming educated on some seriously spurious behavior. I have endured the dirty looks and eye rolls and “conspiracy theory” comments in response to me at dinner parties and hippie-crystal-b*tch events for years. I would tell myself to hold fast, knowing the day would come when sunlight exposed the darker corners of his grift.

Sunlight has officially landed.

So, how did I know something wasn’t exactly clean in the milk with his Holiness?

For starters, I used to love the Dalai Lama. I love Buddhism. And I’m no big fan of the governments that try to eradicate the spiritually heterodox in a region of rapidly disappearing shamanism and magic.

But then I learned that the Dalai Lama flew to Albany to endorse Keith Raniere and his organization, NXIVM, in 2009. Of particular note to the Dalai Lama’s decision to bless NXIVM with this honor was Keith’s proven commitment to an “ethical life”. Considering Keith Raniere is serving 120 years in prison for felonies that include human trafficking and child pornography, one might wonder why the Dalai Lama thought him worthy of such praise.

Unless, of course, you know why. One million dollars of why.

A new report confirms what many NXIVM survivors and insiders have thought for years: that NXIVM paid the Dalai Lama $1 million in exchange for endorsing a man that had already been credibly- and publicly- accused of the sexual abuse of minors, among other predatory crimes.

In the years since Keith’s trial and the subsequent ocean of press coverage and documentaries and books outlining the rise and fall of his abusive cult, the Dalai Lama has never issued a statement or addressed his erroneous, irresponsible endorsement of a proven felon. He’s never apologized or communicated empathy to the victims. He never took it as an opportunity to discuss a moral truism, teaching others through his own human experience. He never asked for a “takesy-backsy”.

And the rabbit hole gets a lot deeper. There are other credible rumors about the Dalai Lama’s real nature, generally hinging on the theme of him abusing his position and authority and his adherents. And this is the dark corner where stuff gets weird and sad and can turn us off from spiritual exploration and curiosity. If they’re all bad people, narcissists and rapists and theifs and murderers, why should we even dip our toe into the spiritual waters?

I had this reaction many years ago when I saw a number of real, genuine photos of Mother Theresa with Robert Maxwell, Ghislaine Maxwell’s father. Yah, that Ghislaine Maxell: the “madam” currently serving a prison sentence for sex trafficking minors alongside dead pedophile Jeffrey Epstein. These photos accompanied 20+ year old buried stories about potential human trafficking claims against both Robert and Mother Theresa.

I know, I know. It sounds nuts. Can’t possibly be true. You must think I’m crazy…

So….anyways.

As you may know, I’ve written (and spoken) quite a bit about spiritual narcissism. I view this as the biggest challenge in my “industry”, in spirituality, and in the world more broadly. Wolves hide in sheep’s clothing, and they convert the appearance of spiritual ascension into access and authority over vulnerable victims all the time. And negative entities like to subvert, invert and effectively desecrate any space- physical or ephemeral- of “holiness”.

I’ve written about this on Substack HERE and HERE, if you want to go deeper into the myths and the red flags and things to keep an eye out for on your journey.

And I’ve recently found an excellent social media account that addresses these types of abuses through an objective, clinical lens- including tackling the recent scandal regarding the Dalai Lama: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd/

Eli Harwood- aka “attachmentnerd” on Instagram agrees that it’s pretty cut and dry: this stuff is abuse.

You don’t tongue-kiss or tongue-suck a minor child. Full stop. And guess what? If this is what he does while there is a crowd and cameras around, please just consider how he conducts himself in private when he thinks no one is looking. There is no cultural nuance or spiritual exception or mental gymnastics that can explain this in such a way that it’s not just creepy and inappropriate on its face.

The way someone does one thing is how they do everything.

I know it’s tough to lose a hero. I was once a great student and admirer of the Dalai Lama. And I’ve been through this with almost half of the spiritual leaders with whom I’ve worked and/or sought out as mentors, many of whom I knew “in real life”. Literally half of them have turned out to be gross, either financially exploiting clients and workers or scamming their communities or sexually abusing those that trust them.

Half.

That’s my actual, lived experience. It’s the primary reason I struggle to keep my head up in a woo world that’s largely not what it claims to be. To me, this is the worst moral crime to commit: to pretend to be a spiritual authority and ethical leader and, in reality, grift and take and abuse.

And, while it’s tough and ugly, I think we all need to start talking about this phenomenon and acknowledge its prevalence. As a species, I believe that we need to start self-serving our own spiritual services instead of relying on an authority figure for the answers, regressively infantilizing ourselves and asking a “mommy” or “daddy” or “guru” to tell us the meaning of life.

These people are just people. But spirit is real, and you always have access to it.

I do what I do at TOTEM for a very specific reason: to democratize spirituality and empower my clients to take charge of their own spiritual practice. My services are designed to start a dialogue with spirit, aiding you along your spiritual scavenger hunt but not inserting myself and my specific worldview into your practice. I never give fish when I can teach a client to fish.

It’s not the easiest job I’ve ever had, and it’s certainly a hard way to do things…but it’s also very, very worth it.

Before this event hit the news, I was considering pumping the breaks on a plan for having these kinds of conversations on a podcast. Not only is it expensive- in a very tough economic environment- but it’s surely going to kick up sediment and trigger people and rope me into a whole bunch of stuff that isn’t entirely pleasant.

I mean, I’m already tired and feeling like a work hoarder, as per my Libra Full Moon post here on Substack.

But this story about the Dalai Lama reminded me that being skeptical while being spiritual is crucial. And, to that end, building up our intuitive skills can be the best defense against being taken advantage of in every area of our lives.

And this conversation matters. Democratizing shamanism matters. And I’d like to make a difference in this space.

To this end, I’m going to launch a podcast in the next month or so. It’s called “The Skeptical Shaman”. So, stay tuned for more to come on that. Your interest and support are going to be super important to its success, and the ongoing existence of TOTEM.

And please remember this: our TOTEM Spiritual Transformation Coaching is 100% designed to show you that you already have the tools you need to self-serve your spiritual needs and even support others. In this program, we put in the reps and do the work to build up a muscle memory across various spiritual modalities, leaving clients empowered with actionable data and the methods and tools to support themselves moving forward. Our only goal? Getting you to self-launch into the unknown.

I’m not a big deal like the Dalai Lama or Keith Raniere or Osho or Bikram, so I can’t offer that kind of eminence or exposure or, frankly speaking, sparkle of fame or money or cache.

But I’m also not a total con artist creep, either. I’m not a rapist or a cult leader or telling kids to suck my tongue in public.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is my market differentiator.

So, if you’d like to learn more about my coaching program and how you can sign up, please email me here: rachel@totemreadings.com. I’ve had a few folks drop out of this round due to getting laid off (a major theme of the last quarter) so I have space and am motivated to make this 1:1 work accessible to as many of you as possible.

And keep an eye out. You are smart and you have common sense and intuition. You see something, you say something. You get a vibe, walk out. Trust yourself. Believe yourself. Stand up for yourself. Don't give your hero or cultural icons more room than you would give the guy or girl down the street.

Stay spiritually-curious, but get skeptical, too.

-Rachel