The whirling angels
The Spring Season brings new flowers-- and whirling angels-- into the garden
“Plants are the whirling angels, the living creatures, and cherubs. These plants are designated, destined for the work of humanity.” -The Zohar
It’s been a tough couple of months. Some might even suggest it’s a tough couple of years. So, when I stumbled upon this passage in the Zohar— one of the books of the mystical tradition of Kabbalah— I felt an instant wash of pure, unmitigated gratitude.
I get to work with the whirling angels.
This realization refocused me on the “why” behind what I do, transforming my perception of my TOTEM Flower Essences project and reminding me that each bottle effectively contains a healing, whirling angel from the kingdom of nature.
I needed nature
My TOTEM Flower Essence project was born of a very pure and very human impulse that rose up during Covid lockdowns in downtown Chicago: to be outside, to connect with the earth and its living creatures, and to germinate and grow and hand-craft ancient medicine in the form of magical potions. What emerged was a luminescent, healing and intelligent energy within each bottle: the product of raw alchemy of seed and soil, sunlight and water, energy and matter, and intention and action.
I made my TOTEM Flower Essences in a process unchanged among witches and shamans and medicine men for millennia, trading scale and efficiency and financial benefit in order to made these potions in keeping with the rhythms— and limitations— of nature. Bottling these flower essences makes me a part of a continuous healing tradition, a thread through time, space and culture.
In this context, my commitment to doing things the hard, right way gives this task personal value regardless of how the market receives the work or how things shake out “on paper”.
In other words: making flower essences really puts things into perspective.
As with many of you, the last few weeks have been very tough for me: bank failures and accountant failures and photographer failures and shipping failures and so on and so forth. In this stretch, I found myself assessing whether or not TOTEM was a sustainable business model. I mean, how do we get “there” from a business perspective without destroying me and my love for shamanism in the process?
Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should do something.
So, to answer this question more fully and put together a new plan for the future, I was forced to reframe my strategy, my approach, and the crucial necessity of getting back to basics.
I undertook a personal audit, assessing which aspects of my shamanic practice have become nothing more than a means to an end and which elements, in contrast, were a “good in and of themselves”. I used the template provided by Aristotle in his philosophical masterpiece The Nicomachean Ethics, getting to the mission-driven, human-oriented core of TOTEM Readings.
In this process, I discarded any notions around “you should” or “others are” or “clients expect” and, instead, dug deeper into the same magic that has carried me through multiple decades and homes and professions and marriages. I worked to energetically release the disappointment and bitterness that can naturally swell up from having invested in people, projects or goals that did not manifest in kind or produce a return on investment in material reality.
And I had to get back into touch with what to nurture and grow moving forward. What projects were going to put more of “me” into my life.
What efforts would nurture my better angels, and yield fruit regardless of outcome.
The Garden of Life
You know what first emerged as a good in and of itself and not a means to an end?
My TOTEM Flower Essence Garden.
In Kabbalah, 3D time/space— i.e. our physical reality, the world— is called Malkut. It’s the lowest “sephirot” on the Tree of Life, and Malkut means “kingdom” in Hebrew. Its the intersection of God’s divine energy and matter, an acknowledgement that divine light permeates everything around us.
In this context, the soil, the plants and flowers and bugs and animals and sunlight and green and water and warmth are all our kingdom, putting us in touch with God’s light and ancient, thrumming magic.
So, if it’s our kingdom, why aren’t we enjoying it? Why aren’t we governing it and caring for it and allowing it to care for us in kind? Why are we so disconnected from our divinely-ordained home base?
And, perhaps most importantly, what magic are we cutting ourselves off from by not wandering into the Garden of Life from time to time? Planting seeds or sustaining life or harvesting medicine for ourselves?
I reflected on this and realized that the TOTEM Flower Essence Garden, for all of its up-front costs and hard work and ongoing war with evil squirrels, has always given back more than its taken. How many dynamics do we have in our lives like that? How many relationships do we have in which we can always go and sit and get a real reprieve from the grabby emails or unexpected emergency or constant drip of stress and obligation and anxiety?
Not many.
In contrast, my garden has more than delivered. Even if the TOTEM Flower Essence project doesn’t stay profitable— a big “if” considering it’s growing popularity on Etsy— my time in its intensely interactive energetic ecosystem has consistently reconnected me to true nature, to my spirit guides, to my body, to my studies in Kabbalah and herbalism, to new totem animals, and to my overall work as a shaman.
So, it’s a good in and of itself, no matter the outcome on paper.
During my challenging last few weeks, I noticed that I had started to spend more time out in the garden.
As first, this was just a nervous system must: to get away from the fucking computer and breathe some fresh air while watering my newly-planted seeds and growing saplings. You know: so that I didn’t get arrested for telling people I was going to kill them.
At some point during this process, I also started to bottle some of the two dozen NEW TOTEM Flower Essences planned for this coming year, taking a moment to taste test them and feel the effects of their imprint on my energy body.
In the process, I very quickly started to fall back in love with what I do. I felt my self-judgement dissipate and my dread and anger get replaced, bit by bit, with genuine optimism.
And then, as if by magic, I became reacquainted with an old friend and spirit guide: Mab.
And this was a new side of Mab, one that I had not fully experienced in my prior work with this ancient Scottish deity. Rather, this was a physical immersion into the thrumming energy of life and real energy of abundance, ultimately connecting me to source and, in one fell swoop, destroying my anxiety about things beyond my control.
Mab: The Empress of the Garden
During my series of recent business “emergencies”, I did what any responsible, rational adult would do: I pulled my tarot cards.
No, really. It’s objectively a great business tool. I tell people all the time that a TOTEM Tarot Reading is effectively your spiritual dashboard, organizing your spiritual data into a cogent, at-a-glance set of insights that help you make empowered decisions and assess long-term trends by leveraging established benchmarks.
During this time— and from every tarot deck that I own— I pulled the Empress card as my outcome card: the overall destination of my efforts and actions and thoughts and intentions for the rest of the year.
I associate the Empress card with the Scottish deity Mab, which is why we included her in our TOTEM Tarot Deck (image below):
As the good client that I am, I actually sat down to read the summary we created for Mab in our TOTEM Tarot Deck booklet:
“When Mab appears in a reading, it’s time to connect and receive the abundance she has to offer. Know your value and accept nothing less than what you deserve. Embrace the law of attraction and invest in and care for yourself and your loved ones. Expand your circle and warm your household. Mab, the earth, and all of creation are on your side right now- find a way to open yourself to receive this support and get what is rightly yours.”
I mean, I know I wrote this booklet, but it just hits different when you read it while you’re working with the energy directly.
Thank you, Mab.
So, I took the hint. I started to reorganize and label jars with in-process TOTEM Flower Essences percolating away. I cleaned the house. I cut some gorgeous roses from the garden and, instead of putting them in jars for TOTEM Flower Essences right away, I placed them in vases for my husband and I to enjoy at our dining table.
I honor Mab every day on my altar, placing found materials and herbs and lighting gorgeous, colored and beautifully-scented candles. I talk to her in the garden, and every time a butterfly comes to visit me.
I’ve noticed that my senses are more tuned in than ever before. I’ve been smelling and tasting notes to flowers or foods or wines well beyond my previous palette. I’ve had a thrumming energy in my physical body that I can only compare to really, really good reiki. And I’ve heard, at least on a few occasions, a clairsentient voice come through when outdoors: Mab giving me some pretty great advice.
And, all of a sudden, I’ve become very excited about what’s around the corner. I became fertile with ideas and concepts and remedies, surely a byproduct of my spiritual communion with my new spirit guide.
And, with all of the heaviness and mishigas of the last several weeks, I had almost forgotten about the awesome new stuff on deck. With Mab’s help, that was now snapping back into focus, infusing my daily experience of TOTEM with a little bit more life-giving light and direct client work…and a little less time in front of the computer.
TOTEM’s Intuitive Herbalism Service
To this end, I’m so excited to announce the launch of a new service at TOTEM: Intuitive Herbalism. I’ve been studying herbalism in earnest for two years, practicing and beta testing the model with great success with myself and many lovely human guinea pigs.
This service offering will be featured on our website soon (had to reschedule a long-awaited photoshoot which is now happening next week). That said, I am accepting new clients and booking sessions with clients in the interim. If you’re interested, check out the details and book a time on Calendly here: https://calendly.com/rachel-1061/totem-intuitive-herbalism-session?month=2023-04
My immersion into intuitive herbalism is both a reaction to my own very unpleasant (and very limiting) recent experiences with traditional western medicine and the natural output of my own shamanic practice, the latter of which has continued to peel back the layers on my intuitive understanding of herbal remedies, revealing a deep connection to this modality.
I mean, I have dreams about plants. My spirit guides and totem animals reveal herbal medicines to me in meditation. And imagery of herbs, trees and flowers have been popping into client sessions in an herbal context for many, many years.
I become increasingly convinced that I came here, at least in part, to do this work.
As a part of this service, I’m going to be creating proprietary, bespoke herbal tinctures, oils, teas and other “medicines” for TOTEM clients from the beautiful, magical products we’re growing in our TOTEM Flower Essence Garden. If you’re here in Austin, we can hook you up with your unique products in-person or, for those of you across the country (and world), I can ship these items to you via UPS for quick and easy access. If something is required that I don’t have in-stock, I’m going to work with the lovely people at Austin’s Herb Bar to hook you up.
I’m beyond thrilled to share this work with all of you, finding yet another way to capture the healing power of the whirling angels right there in our own backyard.
New TOTEM Flower Essences
Our new 2023 TOTEM Flower Essences reflect this sense of transformative alchemy, and are all designed to support those seeking ways to harness the “whirling angels” of the flower kingdom:
Sacred Temple, made of Osmanthus
Osmanthus, aka Tea Olive aka Devilwood, has been one of my favorite plants for many, many years. Its unique smell is a combination of apricot and jasmine with something earthy and barnyardy underneath.
Our Sacred Temple* Flower Essence is made of tea olive and energetically supports the physical "temple" that houses our spirit. This TOTEM Flower Essence is focused clearing the sacral chakra, eliminating blockages around power, autonomy, abundance and manifestation, and it’s excellent for clearing out energetic cords and removing unwanted spiritual entities.
This is an ideal TOTEM Flower Essence for psychic practitioners, small business owners and women seeking hormonal regulation (yes, yes and yes). It’s a powerful essence that grounds the user's energy in material reality while enabling psychic connection.
It’s now bottled and available on our Etsy Shop HERE: https://www.etsy.com/listing/1438844340/totem-flower-essence-sacred-temple
Use code “SPRING” to get 25% off!
Empath, made of Bougainvillea
Bougainvillea has long been one of my absolute favorite flowers. It’s a bit of an optical illusion: the pink “flowers” are actually leaves, and the real flowers are tiny little white things hidden among the neon pink.
Our Empath TOTEM Flower Essence is made of bougainvillea flowers and offers a feeling of much-needed relief for empaths. Have you been feeling anxiety, stress or sadness in your chest? Do you sometimes find it hard to get deep breaths? When you go for coffee with someone dumping their emotions, do you start to feel like you’re dying and need to go home?
Yah. You might be an empath. And you’ll need help in separating from the negative emotions and energies of others. Empath TOTEM Flower Essence energetically minimizes overwhelm and abates the anxiety that comes from environmental (i.e. other people) sources. This Flower Essence is designed to give the user the feeling of being able to breathe and relax in stressful situations. This is a great essence for protecting and clearing the heart chakra.
Empath is now bottled and ready to be shipped- check it out on our Etsy shop HERE: https://www.etsy.com/listing/1453055659/totem-flower-essence-empath
Use code “SPRING” to get 25% off!
AEAEA, made of Cypress
My favorite, favorite fictional book is Circe by Madeline Miller. The mythical retelling of the story of the Goddess of Witchcraft, Circe, much of the book takes place on her island prison: AEAEA. And AEAEA was covered in magical trees and plants…including the cypress tree.
Our AEAEA TOTEM Flower Essence is made of magical cypress, infusing the user with the powerful, primordial energy of the goddess of witchcraft and her island home. This flower essence is a crucial assistant in the study of practical magic, herbalism, witchcraft, and ritual magic more broadly. Cypress’ energy initiates an alchemical, transformative process in the energy body, ultimately manifesting in magic in material reality.
This is an excellent TOTEM Flower Essence for anyone pursuing mystical and/or occult studies, or those simply seeking to make medicinal remedies from items found in the garden, field or forest.
AEAEA is up on Etsy and ready to ship HERE: https://www.etsy.com/listing/1438859906/totem-flower-essence-aeaea
And, again, the code “SPRING” will get you 25% off!
Who are your whirling angels?
It’s a stressful, weird time on planet earth. But it’s also a pretty magical time, too, isn’t it?
Your whirling angels are all around you as we speak. This Spring Season, please take a moment to reorient yourself to the natural world, your body, and potential plant medicines that resonate with your unique energy body.
And, if you feel like you need a leg up on that process, check out our upcoming Spring Forward Virtual Retreat HERE to learn more and/or register for this magical experience. As we emerge from the last several years and a very long, challenging winter, we could all use a little boost to re-enter the world with a bit of vim and vigor.
After all: life is for living.
Happy Spring!
-Rachel