Stick a fork in me
Why? Because I'm done with online influencers and disingenuous life coaches-- and you should be, too!
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again louder for the folks in the back: stop outsourcing your thinking, happiness, or wellbeing to other people.
This is doubly true if those other people are social media influencers or famous life coaches or so-called gurus.
Why? Well, there are a lot of reasons, and we’ve explored them at length in previous posts and podcast episodes:
But, for the purposes of this post, I’m going to dig into the key red flags highlighted in a BBC Documentary about “Insta’s Fake Guru”: Kate Torres:
Kat Torres— a former social media influencer and “life coach”— is currently serving eight years in a Brazilian prison for human trafficking and slavery, among other crimes. I know. Those crimes should really carry a heavier sentence, but then again they let fellow Brazilian John of God out of prison during Covid “for his safety” after he was convicted of raping hundreds of women and selling their babies, so there’s that.
And while there are a lot of details to the very strange story of Kat Torres, what struck me the most was just how similar Kat’s attributes and evolutions were to that of other so-called gurus, cult leaders, influencers and life coaches— especially those in the “Business of Woo”, revealing tangible, human-scaled red flags we can all look out for as we shop around the spiritual and personal development marketplace:
All about lifestyle
“She was on the cover of magazines. She was seen with famous people such as Leonardo DiCaprio. Everything I saw seemed credible,” one victim said.
At her peak of online power, Kat Torres had more than a million Instagram followers. Her posts often featured her extraordinary lifestyle: penthouse apartment in New York, trips to party towns in Europe, and even a few outings with Mr. Leonardo DiCaprio himself.
On the surface, Kat seemed to have it all. And, as luck would have it, she wanted you to have it all, too. And she could help you get there. Or so she said.
She started offering life coaching services, working 1:1 with clients to help them attain the magical world they saw her live through their handheld black mirror. But, behind the scenes, there was trouble.
Despite being superficially beautiful, Kat wasn’t actually making enough money as a model or a life coach to sustain the lifestyle she broadcast from her social media platform. As her former roommate points out in the BBC documentary (link embedded above), she had “sugar daddies”— and was, he believes, a working prostitute. That’s what actually paid the bills.
The legitimate modeling and life coaching stuff? Not so much.
But, of course, she didn’t tell her more than one million followers that little fact about her real business ventures, instead using a bait and switch technique to offer them the ultimate hopium: you can live on top of the world and become a millionaire just by working with her and becoming a coach within her program.
While other life coaches, gurus and cult leaders may not necessarily engage in overt prostitution to maintain their lifestyle, it is worth noting: they often have hidden sources of income OR are in crippling debt that they do not talk about on their IG Lives or YouTube videos.
Key takeaway: As a former Real Housewife of New York City once said, “Money talks. Wealth whispers.”
If a potential provider of spiritual or personal development services— such as life coaching— is constantly flexing their financial wealth or luxurious lifestyle, please understand that what you are seeing is the product of a very intentional (and expensive) effort to pull you in and not an objective reflection of reality.
For the most part, real spiritual coaches or practitioners are too busy with the work itself to spend exhaustive hours or thousands of dollars on curating— and maintaining— their online persona. We also tend to focus on matters of actual spiritual substance and depth, not on hair extensions or lighting or lip filler.
Just saying.
What’s more: most of us aren’t making millions doing this work. Sure, I make enough to pay my bills and be successful and function and all of that, but I’m not living in any penthouses or traveling by private jet anytime soon, if you catch my drift.
Big. Red. Flag.
The shift to being “spiritual”
“She seemed like she had overcome violence in her childhood, abuse, all these traumatic experiences”, another victim told BBC.
Yep, she did the thing.
When Kat’s prostitution + Russian oligarch sugar daddy money dried up and she realized basic life coaching wasn’t going to do the trick, she went full spiritual guru. She started hosting Ayahuasca ceremonies, doing healing sessions on clients, and even attempting to copy fellow Brazilian, John of God, in working with hard core spiritism.
Yah, this John of God:
And here’s the depressing part: this is not an aberration.
I personally know dozens of people that used to have PR companies, law practices, or were professionals in other fields that have, out of financial or legal necessity, reinvented themselves as “spiritual healers” in an effort to take advantage of the current explosion of interest in this space.
I know one person that went from being an administrative assistant to promoting her “train the trainer” workshops as a hypnotist in less than six weeks. Like, I don’t remember you in medical school, bitch.
And there’s a very simple reason why these folks pivot into the Business of Woo: personal development, life coaching, and spiritual services are 100% unregulated by any local, state, or federal governing bodies.
Read that again: 100% unregulated.
So, in this unregulated and very squishy space, these predators see an opportunity to take advantage of others and exploit them for financial gain, all while offering an invisible “product” that no one can see, measure or, for that matter, assess critically via quantitative measures.
What’s more: they all seem to build their new spiritual healer persona on childhood abuse ala Teal Swan, Kaia Ra, David Wilcock, Corey Goode, and tens of thousands of others. This strategy wraps them in the proverbial sheep’s clothing, commanding your empathy and lowering your defenses against coercive control. After all: why would a victim of abuse abuse you?
Well, because they’re people. And shitty people at that. Oh! And they’re lying. Like, telling some big old whoppers.
I discussed this at length with Nichole Bigley on the A Psychic’s Story podcast here:
Key takeaway: Beware those that suddenly feel the touch of the Holy Ghost. Sure, not all of them are insincere, but many of them are. And, even among the sincere, there are real concerns around whether or not their sudden brush with spirituality makes them an instant expert fit to guide you along this treacherous path.
When shopping around for a life coach, spiritual practitioner or similar, look into how long they’ve had their practice and/or business. Do they have reviews on Yelp or Google from 10+ years ago? Do you know people that have worked with them directly? Are they willing to answer your questions about their education, certification and expertise? Really dig into how long they were students of spirit before they became teachers or way showers of spirit.
What’s more: resist the urge to succumb to “victim marketing”. Instead, look for individuals that, in spite of hardships, have transmuted their previous pain into substantive, empowering work product and are focused on the present and the future instead of the past. They should lead with their actual credentials— not try to exploit the latent pain or empathy that might get triggered within you when you hear their “stories”.
And boy oh boy, are they stories in the truest sense.
And by that I mean they’re largely fiction.
So… she’s a pimp
“If the women didn’t meet the earning quotas that Torres set, which had risen from $1,000 (£782) to $3,000 (£2,345) a day, they were not allowed to return to the house that night. ‘I ended up sleeping on the street several times because I couldn't reach that,’” — one victim told the BBC
No, really. She’s a pimp. And not in the cool, urban dictionary way.
Rather, Kat literally sex-trafficked women and forced them into prostitution against their will when they were at their most vulnerable: living abroad illegally.
How, exactly? Well, it started with her inviting them to (god help me) Austin, TX for in-depth and “in-person coaching and spiritual work” with her.
Instead of digging into that so-called spiritual work, she instead took their passports and told them all that spirit was directing them to “go work” for her— first, at local strip clubs. Then, as an escort, having sex with strangers and giving her the money from the transaction.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Yah, but how many of these so-called gurus are sex-trafficking women? How at risk am I really?”
The answer? More than you think.
Keith Raniere, the so-called guru and cult leader of NXIVM, is currently serving a 120 year jail sentence for sex trafficking women, among other charges. John of God, Oprah’s favorite spiritual healer, was convicted of rape, human trafficking and kidnapping at a shocking scale. And these are but a few of the examples of sexual exploitation that underpin the so-called personal development field.
And, even if they don’t necessarily operate as a literal pimp, the pimp business model is still ubiquitous across the Business of Woo. Put simply, this model is about recruitment and exploitation, with the nefarious guru parasitically draining their followers work output, money, energy, and social networks to benefit themselves— and themselves only.
This model has many other forms and names including pyramid scheme, multi-level marketing scheme, or “train the trainer” constructs. Whatever the name or manifestation, the same attributes remain: you must recruit, you must tithe to the leader (i.e. give them a % of your hard-earned money), and you must dedicate your life to your so-called guru.
Key takeaway: I think that a lot of the *new* so-called spiritual healers and light workers and life coaches are guilty of being traitors to their own gender, exploiting the fears and vulnerabilities of working mothers and single women that are earnestly seeking out real answers and game-changing insights.
When shopping around for a provider in this space, be VERY wary of those that insist on leading with empty, sacharine messaging around “girl power” or exploring your “femininity” or tapping into the “divine feminine”. These are popular buzzwords that these spiritual hustlers and grifters know hack the algorithm and cut through to the most vulnerable.
The podcast The Dream did an excellent job digging into the exploitation of women by other women in these exploitative dynamics:
What’s more: it doesn’t mean anything. It’s just empty heuristics in the spirit of Corporate America. A spell they cast to try to wrap themselves in virtue while taking YOUR MONEY and fucking you over.
If these women cared about women, they would actually act like it in real life— instead of printing stickers about it or whatever it is they do.
It’s a weird, weird world out there, guys. And it’s going to get weirder and more treacherous as socioeconomic churn continues to expand and intensify.
Please remember that the whole of the Business of Woo is utterly unregulated, and often hinges on a true Hall of Mirrors via the manipulation of social media. The unique nature of spiritual work provides fungible cover for all manner of nefarious villain seeking to exploit others for their personal benefit.
But it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t explore it. You should. I’ve met some incredible people and I personally work with astrologers, animal communicators and more to help give me a unique line of sight into the spiritual issues in my own life.
You just need to cultivate and use discernment. Stop feeling bad about being “judgmental”. In the words of the great (though fictional) Rust Cohle of True Detective, “If you ain’t judging, you ain’t living right.”
So, judge away! Go with your gut! Stop explaining away your fear or inherent hostility as something you need to “work on”— you don’t. You’re fine just the way you are, as are your inherent intuitive systems and critical thinking skills!
One of the primary reasons I stepped into the Spiritual Transformation Coaching and Business of Woo Mentoring space is to offer a transparent, grounded-in-results option for those seeking actual insights or assistance. If nothing else, I can slowly and deliberately take market share from the bullshit artists while driving the conversation into a more fact-based, dare I say SKEPTICAL place that benefits the general public.
And, while I’m not living in a Manhattan penthouse or flying private or injecting peptides into my abdomen live on Instagram, I am running a functional, successful Woo-based business— and it’s continuing to grow at pace like a normal, non-criminal enterprise via great referrals, recommendations and organic growth.
If you’re curious about our Spiritual Transformation Coaching or Business of Woo Mentoring Programs, book a free consultation with me via these links:
Spiritual Transformation: https://calendly.com/rachel-1061/totem-spiritual-transformation-coaching-consultation
Business of Woo: https://calendly.com/rachel-1061/business-of-woo-free-consultation
Last call for 2024 is right around the corner, and I already have several folks signed up to kick off working with me in January 2025. So, no pressure— but want to be as transparent as possible about availability given that it’s all one-on-one, tailored work.
That said, I’m considering offering some free Business of Woo Myth-Busting workshops online in the coming months, so keep an eye out for those announcements. I think it’s a crucial conversation to engage in during these very strange— and very turbulent— times!
-Rachel